The Jazz are ready for a Pau Gasol-esk trade
// January 18th, 2010 // No Comments » // Trade Rumors, Trades
I wrote, the other day, that without a shakeup (trade) of the roster or some kind of internal rededication to fundamental basketball by the Jazz, they will not be able to do a whole lot better than they are now. At this point, I don’t think the Jazz can beat Denver or the Lakers in a 7-game series even with home court advantage. And I think that Portland and Oklahoma would give the Jazz a run for their money in an identical series. Not that I doubt the skill of Phoenix, New Orleans, Memphis, or Dallas. The Jazz just happen to match up well against these teams and generally can beat them.
So, it’s either a fundamental change to the way the Jazz approach the game of basketball (not likely) or a trade (more likely). If we’re going to go with a trade, let’s make it one like the trade the Lakers made for Pau Gasol 2 years ago. That trade was freakin’ awesome for the Lakers and the worst bonehead maneuver the Grizzlies have ever done. This is how I imagine that trade went down:
Michael Heisley (Memphis Grizzlies owner) to Chris Wallace (Grizzlies General Manager): “CWall! I was thinking, we’ve got a great young-ish player on our team and then a bunch of crappy ones and we’re not winning.”
Wallace: “You noticed that huh? Wait, what is your definition of ‘winning’? I think you may be looking too pessimistically at it. We win a game here and there.”
Heisley: “You’ve got a great point there, I think the best strategy here in order to become a better team and win more games is to trade away that great player for maybe some solid players to round the team out. But, let’s make sure we get a really really good deal out it”
Wallace: “Well, that doesn’t make sense to me but hey, I’ll start shopping around our best player.”
Wallace calls around to a few GMs around the league and says to them something to the effect of, “Hey….so….um….if you were maybe at all interested in players on our roster…who would you pick?”
GMs reply, “Well, besides Gasol, because let’s be honest, why would you ever trade a versatile big man who’s a good defender, excellent in the paint, and a good mid-range shooter…you’ve got Mike Miller, he’s not bad. Stromile Swift, he’s got some upside, Mike Conl–”
Wallace: “Hang on just a second! I mean…just curious…IF Gasol was available…or something, would you want him? Who would you, um, be willing to give up for him? Just hypothetically…”
GMs: “Let me get back to you but we would definitely be interested.
At this point, I’m sure as Wallace was shopping around he got a number of excellent deals including some first round draft picks, rookies, role-players, expiring contracts, and some players with good potential.
Wallace undoubtedly considered his options as he quietly spoke with other GMs. Mitch Kupchak (General Manager of the Lakers) probably got wind of this rumor and looked around his team and what options they had and he had come up kinda short. The Lakers didn’t have a lot of tradeable assets at the time and knew it.
Wallace calls Kupchak and throws the same spiel at Kupchak, who, thinking that not seeming like he wanted Gasol was the best route, replies: “Oh Gasol huh? Hmmm…I think I know who you’re talking about…Mexican guy right? 5 feet 10 or so?”
Wallace: “Er, yeah, something like that. Except he’s about 7 feet tall.”
Kupchak: “Oh, right right. Well, I gotta be honest, we don’t have much right now. I can give you a couple of draft picks down the road, some spare change…it might be Canadian money or something but I’m pretty sure you won’t be able to use it…like it all. Um, what else, oh, we drafted a dude who’s chubby and looks like Bigfoot…I think he might be some sort of relative of your guy, all Mexicans are related right?
Anyways, he’ll come into the league in a year or two, you can have him when he does. AND, I’ve saved the best for last, I’ve got a ’72 Datsun that doesn’t run anymore, it’s all yours.”
Wallace: “Well, I like where you’re going with some of those. I mean, Bigfoot would be cool to have and you never know when you might need to go to Canada and a ’72 Datsun would be a nice backup. I’ll get back to you on that.”
Chris Wallace goes to Michael Heisley with a number of trade proposals that he’s received and after hearing L.A.’s offer Heisley responds: “Wait, so all these other offers are only potential trades? Like they maybe aren’t REALLY willing to make that trade but if we want, they’ll talk about it some more?”
Wallace: “Well, yeah, that’s sorta the way it works. We’ve got to talk it over and negotiate…”
Heisley: “F that dude! If L.A. has said they’ll for sure trade what you just mentioned, let’s freakin do it! Just tell the media and stuff that this was the best deal possible.”
Wallace: “Yeah all right. Want to hit up the horse races? I hear that Mr. Roger’s Sweater Vest is a 38 to 1 underdog. I say we put down $2 million on him. I’ve got a good feeling.”
Heisley: “Sounds good, I’ll trust you.”
That’s how it went down folks…I promise. The Grizzlies got the Lakers’ 1st round draft picks in 2008 and 2010. The 2008 draft pick was Donte Green who now plays for the Sacramento Kings. The loose change was Javaris Crittendon and Kwame Brown. You might remember Crittendon from such NBA scandals as “Let’s Draw Guns on Each Other in the Locker Room,” or “I Make Outrageous Bets I Can’t Afford to Gilbert Arenas.” Kwame Brown is the one of the biggest #1 draft-pick busts of all time and has been a gigantic disappointment since entering the league as #1. The ’72 Datsun was Aaron McKie who was an Assistant Coach for the 76′ers and hadn’t played in the league for 3 years or so when the trade happened. He never played for Memphis.
So…how does this all apply to the Jazz? Surely we can make a similar heist and get Brook Lopez, Kevin Love (or Al Jefferson), Kevin Martin, Carl Landry, Jason Terry, Corey Maggette, Luol Deng, Andrew Bogut, Gerald Wallace, Caron Butler/Antawn Jamison, or any other great player playing for organizations doing badly or ones run by idiots who might spend too much time at the horse races. We can offer you CJ Miles, Kosta Koufos, the rights to Peter Fehse (Thank YOU Oklahoma), and I bet we could throw in Morris Almond in the deal…even though he’s not with the Jazz now.
Remember how well the Jazz did two years ago when they traded for Kyle Korver? The team was re-energized and they finished the season 38-14. Korver didn’t even shoot all that well after coming to the Jazz. He averaged 39% from 3 point range after being traded which is respectable, but nothing game changing. Imagine what the Jazz would be like if we got any of those above players?
